{"id":10803,"date":"2025-11-23T16:24:28","date_gmt":"2025-11-23T22:24:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/my-all-about-you.com\/?p=10803"},"modified":"2025-11-23T16:24:28","modified_gmt":"2025-11-23T22:24:28","slug":"affection-without-acupuncture","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/my-all-about-you.com\/es\/2025\/11\/23\/affection-without-acupuncture\/","title":{"rendered":"Affection Without Acupuncture"},"content":{"rendered":"

What I Don\u2019t Want in an Animal<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

When people ask me about my favorite animals, I find it easier to start with what I don\u2019t want. No needles. I\u2019m not hugging a walking pincushion. Porcupines, I\u2019m talking about you. One cuddle and I\u2019d look like a sewing project gone wrong. No slime. I don\u2019t do goo. If you drip, ooze, or trail across my floor, you\u2019re out. No poison bites, venomous snakes, I\u2019m talking about you. If your idea of affection is sending venom through my veins, we\u2019re not meant to be. No mosquitos either. I know you like to visit at certain times of year, but you hurt when you bite, and you\u2019re a pain. And no flies. Don\u2019t land on my food, don\u2019t buzz in my ear, and don\u2019t act like you own the picnic table.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No Scratching Allowed<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

And if you want to be in my life, no scratching. I don\u2019t mind petting. Honestly, I don’t. I love petting, but I don\u2019t want to be harmed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Pets Who Actually Made the Cut<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

Now, don\u2019t get me wrong. I do have a rooster, but he stays in the backyard where his morning concerts don\u2019t rattle my ears. And I\u2019ve got a German shepherd who\u2019s practically perfect. No slobber, no stealing\u2026 unless it\u2019s chocolate cookies while we\u2019re at church. Then all bets are off. And my cat? She redeems all other cats because she doesn\u2019t claw me in the middle of the night. She\u2019s actually very sweet, and so is the shepherd.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The Animals Who Did NOT Make the Cut<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

But as for the rest? No kissy\u2011face pets. Yuck. Keep your spit to yourself. If you\u2019ve got something to say, lower your voice. I want to hear other people after you\u2019re done. No drama queens, no food thieves, no stink bombs (skunks, I\u2019m looking at you), no fur factories, no mood\u2011swing maniacs, no drool factories, no lizards climbing my curtains like they own the place, no diggers tunneling through my yard like it\u2019s a construction site. Moles and gophers, I\u2019m talking about you. No goats chewing the siding off the house, no bats dive\u2011bombing my hair, no kangaroos kickboxing my ribs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So What Animals Do<\/em> I Love?<\/h3>\n\n\n\n

So when you ask me about favorite animals, just know: I like the ones who don\u2019t poke me, slime me, poison me, scream at me, slobber on me, scratch me, or suck my blood. Give me a rooster in the yard, a shepherd at my side, and a cat who lets me sleep in peace and I\u2019ll happily say \u201cNo Thank You\u201d to the rest.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Daily writing prompt<\/div>
What are your favorite animals?<\/div>
View all responses<\/a><\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When people ask me about my favorite animals, I start with what I absolutely don\u2019t want \u2014 no needles, no slime, no poison, no drama. Here\u2019s my honest look at which creatures make the cut and which ones definitely don\u2019t.<\/p>","protected":false},"author":132804860,"featured_media":10807,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_coblocks_attr":"","_coblocks_dimensions":"","_coblocks_responsive_height":"","_coblocks_accordion_ie_support":"","_crdt_document":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"dois","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"_wpas_customize_per_network":false,"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[376,34537],"tags":[785750965,578899,306,785750970,116305918,759385195,1798,305,14036,237934,785750960,785751041,9277,219264805,55580],"class_list":["post-10803","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-humor","category-personal-stories","tag-animals","tag-cat-stories","tag-cats","tag-daily-life","tag-dailyprompt","tag-dailyprompt-2131","tag-dog","tag-dogs","tag-funny-stories","tag-german-shepherd","tag-humor","tag-personal-reflections","tag-pets","tag-relatable-humor","tag-rooster"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/my-all-about-you.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/animals.png?fit=1536%2C1024&ssl=1","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9vUsN-2Of","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":10734,"url":"https:\/\/my-all-about-you.com\/es\/2025\/11\/19\/trust-your-instincts-unless-theyre-weird\/","url_meta":{"origin":10803,"position":0},"title":"Trust Your Instincts (Unless They\u2019re Weird)","author":"myallaboutyou","date":"noviembre 19, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Whimsical illustration of a squirrel holding a compass, surrounded by autumn leaves and wooden signs labeled \u201cYes,\u201d \u201cNo,\u201d \u201cMaybe,\u201d and \u201cSnacks.\u201d The image humorously captures the theme of indecision and playful self-reflection, aligning with the post\u2019s lighthearted take on trusting your instincts.","rel":"","context":"En "Humor"","block_context":{"text":"Humor","link":"https:\/\/my-all-about-you.com\/es\/category\/humor\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"A whimsical forest path with wooden signs pointing in different directions\u2014Yes, No, Maybe, Snacks\u2014surrounded by squirrels and autumn leaves, evoking playful confusion and lighthearted decision-making.","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/my-all-about-you.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/a-whimsical-forest-p.png?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/my-all-about-you.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/a-whimsical-forest-p.png?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/my-all-about-you.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/a-whimsical-forest-p.png?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/my-all-about-you.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/11\/a-whimsical-forest-p.png?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3019,"url":"https:\/\/my-all-about-you.com\/es\/2024\/09\/22\/be-yourself-the-best-career-advice-ever\/","url_meta":{"origin":10803,"position":1},"title":"Be Yourself: The Best Career Advice Ever","author":"myallaboutyou","date":"septiembre 22, 2024","format":false,"excerpt":"The best advice I received was to be myself during my first job after college. 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